Sunday, February 20, 2011

today was eventful.

first i went to my friend trevor's wedding. im excited for him, he seemed really happy. there was alot of people there. most of us were friends and used to hang out, and for some reason or another that stopped. it was a collection of people pretending for a day we were all still friends, nothing is more depressing than meaningless small talk.

after that i went to a local show in sea isle, it was fun.

it was a mix of ska, hardcore, folk/punk, and indie bands. this one girl played , her set was really good but she began talking shit on kids moshing for the hardcore bands. me and george confronted her outside, not in a mean way, i guess just to explain ourselves. she referred to us as a bunch of ex jocks who liked to mindlessly hurt people smaller than us. it bothered me because that was the farthest thing from the truth. most of us were nothing but kids who felt like outcasts, losers, we just didn't fit in. as far as i saw it we were all on the same side, i thought it was cool there was such a diverse line up in a show and everyone was having fun. she was the one building walls, not us. george simply said to her "you know im not a bad person", and its true, he has a huge heart. the whole situation led me to think about why i mosh and enjoy aggressive music (yes i know this sounds corny). Im a quiet, reserved nerd. I love video games, i grew up playing dungeons and dragons, zelda, magic the gathering, and always loved reading and the arts. i try my best to be good to other people and do whats right, and it always ended up in me getting walked all over. for those 15 minutes of a bands set i just get to liberate myself from all the stress and bullshit i dwell on. I run around like an idiot and flail my arms around because its one of the few ways i know how to free myself. i just kinda black out when i mosh, i lose myself. when a band i love plays i get to lose myself , I let out a lot of the anger and frustration that i bottle up inside and drive myself crazy with. It one of the few things that keeps me going and breaths life into me, it sounds lame but im always thankful i found punk/hardcore music.

anyway, i had a good night. good talks with friends, great music, and for a second being able to forget all the troubles on my mind.

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