Tuesday, February 8, 2011

today in the shower i started zoning out thinking about the future. I thought of where i wanted to be and the things i always hoped i would accomplish. i always wanted a family i could take care of and treat right. a kid i would love the hell out of and try my best to bring up as a good guy. a wife i adore and love. sometimes im not sure if im going to get those things. i than started thinking about all the 2012 bull shit, not that im some firm believer in it, but what if it was true. what if the overall destiny of makind ontop of my small life prevented me from the things i always hoped to have. what if just in general, in some sense or another, my dreams were doomed from the start.

i feel a sense of panic, i feel disoriented, i think i might hate my life right now.

ive been writing my thoughts down in a small note book, i thought it would help get rid of the turmoil ive been feeling in my head. as the amount of free pages to write in dwindles the feeling doesnt seem to even budge

"all day long we talk about mercy, lead me to water lord i sure am thirtsy"

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